Una vez dicho esto, aquí teneis un nuevo y emotivo capítulo, lleno de buenas canciones, que podéis encontrar actualizadas en Spotify y YouTube. También he añadido a la lista de "Mis páginas" un tablero de Pinterest. ¡Espero que os guste!
First of all, I have to tell you that this is my first time in a BLOG/LINK PARTY, a great idea of a friend of mine, Laia (http://bakesweetsnotwar.blogspot.com.es/). I'm linking this chapter to the blog "Personalización de blogs". http://www.personalizaciondeblogs.blogspot.com.es/2014/01/fiesta-de-enlaces-num-51.HTML
Having said this, here you are a new and moving chapter, full of good songs, that you can find updated in the Spotify playlist and also in the YouTube Chanel. I also have added to "Mis páginas" list a Pinterest Board. I hope you like it!
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CHAPTER 6.
“It’s fantastic,
Ana! You already have a job waiting for you after our graduation, in Seattle!”
Kate said with delight, clapping her hands and jumping as a teenager.
“Congratulations,
Ana” José hugged her tight raising her from the ground.
“Be careful
with my girl, José” Ray chuckled with pride in his eyes. “You’ve played beautifully,
Ana, and these are very good news! I’m very proud of you!” He caressed
affectionately Ana’s face.
“Oh, I’m so
excited! I don’t know what to say! I hope I won’t ruin this opportunity!” Ana
said, smiling nervously.
“Oh, don’t you
dare thinking like this! Let’s go celebrate!” Kate stated guiding them out of
the theatre.
# # # #
When Ana
arrived home, she borrowed Kate’s laptop and went to her bedroom. She tapped
her thighs nervously with her fingers, cross legged, while it was switched on.
She needed to read about him. She was getting used to his e-mails, sometimes a
little bit naughty, but always gentle, and always sincere, at least it was what
it seemed. She loved the way he teased her, the way he made her laugh and made
her feel… something more. Something she didn’t want to name. And it was so much
fun to find the right songs to tease him, to show him she cared… to please him.
She bitted her lip. This was becoming much more than banter, at least for her.
What if they met? He would realize how the real Ana was; shy, with low self esteem,
just one more girl. She immediately thought about the grey-eyed boy. She kept
waiting for him, but he didn’t come. She had seen something in his eyes she
probably misunderstood. Probably this was also the case, with Fifty. She acceded to her e-mail and
looked for one of him. There it was. She closed her eyes and took a deep
breath.
Dear Midnight Sun,
What are you doing to me?
You’ve turned my world upside down. I used to crave control, it was my
top priority, and now it slips through my fingers with only thinking about you.
You have entered into my mind in such a way I can’t understand. Why do I feel
so connected to you? Why do I have the strength to make changes in my life I
never thought I would be brave enough, just because of you? It scares me.
From the very first time I heard your voice I was drawn to you, and
transported to a place I was only once, and where I thought I would never
return. That was a door I never thought would be opened again.
I used to think I was a loner. It was the right thing to me. I was
comfortable and secure. But now I feel something is missing. People keep
telling me lately I’m “distracted”, but the truth is I’m totally focused in one
single thing. I can´t think in anything else but you. Again, that scares me a
lot.
I love the way you try to communicate with me. I love the songs you
choose and I love it when you say my name, with that sweet voice of yours. It
carries me to a safe place. I would love even more hearing you saying my real
name, but I don’t deserve it. It would not be fair for you. Maybe I’m not brave
enough.
I will resign myself to listen to you from the distance, enjoying every
second of it, and craving for the next time to hear you with a smile playing on
my lips and a load in my chest.
Sincerely yours,
Fifty.
Ana was
shocked. God, that was really intense. She also felt connected with him, in a
way she didn’t understand. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She only felt
the same way thinking about the grey-eyed boy. In fact, her latest fantasies
were a mixture of both men. A perfect combination. She would like to know his
real name. She would like to whisper it in his ear. Ana closed her eyes, and
suddenly she smelt the scent of that boy. “I
can´t think in anything else but you”. Oh, my. If only he knew. But, why
didn’t he tell her his name? And why the hell did not he give her an e-mail
direction to reply? It was much more difficult this way. But much more fun. Maybe he had his own self esteem issues. He was
afraid of rejection. That was a feeling Ana knew so well. Maybe he only was
playing with her. Or maybe he was very ill and he could not be surrounded by
other people. Or maybe he was dangerous, some kind of serial killer, or
something. That was weird.
That night Ana
dreamt about smoldering grey eyes watching her, strong arms holding her tight,
gentle hands caressing her body, smiles, kisses, and she whispering soothing words
close to the ear of his beloved. The appearance of him was the one of the
grey-eyed boy, but she was thinking about Fifty.
She woke up
with a decision made. She had to try. She desperately had to do it. Would he
want to meet her?
After her
scheduled classes, she spent all the afternoon choosing the right songs. She
texted José to make him know the list of songs would be ready by the evening.
# # # #
“Are you sure
about this?” José said frowning, pointing to the list of songs Ana had chosen.
“It’s a weird list…”
“It’s cool”.
“It’s weird”.
José repeated.
“Don’t you
think these are good songs?” Ana told raising an eyebrow.
“I think so,
but that’s not the point. I don’t know what you are thinking… Are you trying to
prove something…to someone?” He suspected all this stuff was about that guy who
was e-mailing her, or the other one. Who cared? He was really pissed off.
“José, that’s
the idea” Ana sighed.
“I don’t think
it’s a good idea” He replied narrowing his eyes.
“Do you have
any problem?” Ana said tilting her head.
“Yes, I have a
problem”. He stated crossing his arms on his chest.
“What’s your
problem, then?” She said clenching her hands on her hips.
“Ana, you know
really well what my problem is…” José said through gritted teeth, staring at
her, with an unfathomable glare.
“José, don't.
Let me be”. Ana turned on her heels and went away. She knew she was behaving
like a bitch, but she didn’t need José’s harassment in that moment.
“Whatever!”
José yelled frustrated.
An hour after,
they were prepared to begin the program. José was deadly serious, and Ana felt
her heart ached a little. She didn’t want to lose such a valuable friend like
José. She looked at him sideways, and he made a signal moving his right hand
with the index and middle fingers stretched. That was it. The moment of truth.
“Good night guys!
Welcome back to our program. I’m Midnight Sun and we aim to fill your ears and
your mouths with good music.”
Christian
hurried to arrive to his apartment. The last meeting went well, really well, although
those Taiwanese were a really hard case. He had to use all his negotiation
skills, and it was awfully interminable. He went directly to his bedroom,
throwing to the floor his briefcase, his jacket, shoes and socks and jumping to
the bed. He switched on the laptop and put it on his legs. The other day, he
had e-mailed her after his outburst with Elena, and, although everything he
wrote was true, he didn’t mean to expose himself so much. Now, he was craving
for hearing her response.
“Tonight I
have a mission. I want to express myself as I’ve never done before. I want you
to know me; not my name, not even my face. I want to be honest and show you my
strengths and my weaknesses. This way, maybe you could trust me. Sometimes I am
in a lack of trust too, but today I want to try. Do you?” Ana had chosen
carefully the songs she wanted to play that night. They were songs with a
strong meaning for her. She wanted to expose herself to Fifty, show him who she really was, the good and the bad; show him
they probably weren’t so different, and make him understand that he could count
on her.
Christian felt
the drums of the song resounding in his chest, taking up the rhythm of his
heartbeat, and suddenly the sound got trapped in it. He grabbed the sheets with
both his hands until his knuckles went white. This was her response. She was
opening her soul to him in the only way she could. The electric guitars filled
his ears and the words entered in his psyche.
“...I try to
let go, but I know
We'll never
end 'til we're dust
We lied to
each other again
But I wish I
could trust.
My body
aches from mistakes
Betrayed by
lust
We lied to
each other so much
That in
nothing we trust”.
Ana was biting her lip until
it hurt. Tears were in the back of her eyes. She didn't regret of doing
anything, but it was so difficult for her. What if she scared him even more?
Christian’s breathing
became erratic and his mouth went dry. He realized what she was asking
him for. He did not even trust himself... How was it possible to trust someone else?
He could only trust one person, that blue-eyed girl. He saw it in her eyes;
innocence, pureness. Could he trust Midnight Sun? What if she hurt him? That
was a big, big step. He covered his face with both his hands and rubbed it
furiously. Then, he realized that maybe she was also talking about herself. It
was not only a call for trust. She also had her own issues.
“This was Trust, from the 1997 album Cryptic
writings. Megadeth is one the
most important trash metal bands. It
was founded by Dave Mustaine in Los Angeles, California in 1983. I also
recommend you their hit A tout le monde,
suitable even for those who are not used to this type of music.” Ana took a
deep breath; her heartbeat was increasing dangerously.
“Now I want to show you a very
particular song, called Your woman. It
was released in 1997 by the one-man band White
Town. It peaked at number one in the UK Singles Chart.
It also topped the charts around Europe and peaked at number 23 in the US
Billboard top100.” Ana grabbed the sheet of paper with trembling hands. She
focused her eyes on it, although she knew by heart all the information she was
giving. “The song parodies another song from the 1930s called My Woman, clearly recognized by its muted trumpet line. The
author wanted to twist the misogynist lyrics from the earlier song and add some
different perspectives. Some people think it could be a little bit ambiguous.
For me, this song puts your mind in a slightly displaced state where you aren't
so sure about certain things, where you begin to wonder about the options you
choose in life. Think about it; it’s not only about you, but about me. I will
need some reassurance too. It will have to be a two-way process”.
Ana
closed her eyes while the prudish and old-fashioned first notes of the song
filled the room. She wondered what he would be thinking.
“Just tell me what you've come to say to me
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth
It comes as no surprise at all you see
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through
Now I know your heart, I know your mind
You don't even know you're being unkind
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways
Just use me up and then you walk away
Boy, you can't play me that way
Well I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of girl for you
I could never be your woman”
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth
It comes as no surprise at all you see
So cut the crap and tell me that we're through
Now I know your heart, I know your mind
You don't even know you're being unkind
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways
Just use me up and then you walk away
Boy, you can't play me that way
Well I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of girl for you
I could never be your woman”
Christian
drank in her words. She was being brutally sincere. And she was asking him for
sincerity; she was demanding it. But also she was showing him a great load of
trust and commitment showing him her fears. He closed his eyes and his mind
flowed with the almost hypnotic effect of the song. When it finished, almost
immediately another song began. Midnight
Sun didn’t say a word between them. It was very dark and sensual, and full
of angst. The notes enveloped him like a warm thick mist. Christian knew this
song. He had listened to it several times. It talked about fear. Fear to be
trapped, and then fear not to be able to run away from that trap because you
are in need of it. Was she talking about her o about him?
“Never thought you'd make me perspire.
Never thought I'd do you the same.
Never thought I'd fill with desire.
Never thought I'd feel so ashamed.
Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.
So before I end my day, remember…
My sweet prince, you are the one.
My sweet prince
you are the one”
Never thought I'd do you the same.
Never thought I'd fill with desire.
Never thought I'd feel so ashamed.
Me and the dragon can chase all the pain away.
So before I end my day, remember…
My sweet prince, you are the one.
My sweet prince
you are the one”
Ana
could not talk anything because of the lump in her throat, and she made a
signal with her hand to José to put the next song just after the previous one.
She was as pale as a sheet of paper. José was angry with her, and pretended not
to notice her demeanor. When this song finished, she had regained a little of
her composure.
“This
was Placebo’s Sweet prince, from their 1998 album Without you I’m nothing. The song, according to the singer Brian
Molko, talks about two romances, one with drugs and one with a person, which
they both ended very tragically”. Anastasia sighed heavily, emptying her lungs.
“We all have our fears and our demons. I only wanted you to know”.
Christian
leaned his back on the headboard. His mind had gone blank. He couldn’t think
about anything. He felt numb. This challenge was directly for him, and he was
scared.
“I’m an
imperfect human being. I have a dark side too. We all have one. I know you are
scared. Me too. My hands are trembling now. My heart is pounding crazily”. Ana
put both her hands over her heart. “The blood is drained from my face. But I’m
here. I wanted you to know I will always be”.
Christian came
back from his lethargy; her words piercing in his mind and his soul, the same
way those beautiful blue eyes had done six years ago. He would not ever forget
those eyes, and neither these words. It was pure and raw sincerity.
“This song
doesn’t need any presentation. I’ll stand
by you”.
“Oh, why you
look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you”
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you”
Christian
stood up and paced up and down the room. He licked his lips because his mouth
had gone dry again. She was a very brave woman. Did he deserve her? He didn’t
understand why she felt that way towards him, but it seemed it was the same way
he felt towards her. How was that possible? How could he deserve her? She was out
of his league, wasn’t she? She was intelligent and talented, and sure she was
kind and generous. He was not any of those things; he had a dark soul and could
not love or be loved. She seemed like an angel, and he was evil. But then again
he felt this feeling that embraced him six years ago: someone caring for him. No
more loneliness. Now he could feel it near, caressing him softly. Why not grab
it with both hands?
“Wow,
The Pretenders never disappoint,
don’t they?” Ana sighed again. She felt exhausted. “Well, today I have brought
my guitar. I wanted to sing you a song about how tough can be to show the world
your true self. I know it for sure; I’m a kind of freak! My friends and family
keep telling me to come down to the real world, but I keep fantasizing about
silly things… I know they don’t understand me, and I know they probably are
right, but I can’t help it. I’ll always keep trying”. Ana took her guitar and
positioned herself in front of the microphone. “You know I use to dedicate my
last song to a certain person… my sad-eyed boy. Today, I also want to dedicate
it to another recently earned friend. In fact, all the songs of today’s program
were dedicated to you, Fifty. This is
Iris, from the Goo Goo Dolls 1998 album Dizzy
up the girl. I hope you like it”. Ana strummed her guitar and began singing
with her eyes closed.
And I'd give
up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Christian
relished with the sound of her voice. He felt safe. He felt cared. He couldn’t
help imagine the blue-eyed girl singing for him; gazing at him with those
beautiful eyes in her beautiful face. But she was almost a dream, and Midnight
Sun was real; as real as the feeling in his chest. “I’ll always keep trying”. He
let her warm embrace hold him and rock him, and he fell asleep in his bed with
a smile in his face.
“I’m
Midnight Sun and this has been today’s program. Sweet dreams”.
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Ya me diréis que os ha parecido... y qué os parecen las canciones. A mí me está encantando escribir esta historia!
Now, tell me what you think... and what about the songs? I'm really enjoying writing this story!
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